To my Love.

I understand that this platform is for anyone who’s willing to dare to speak what they know or believe as long as they respect and adhere to the rules of civility. First, the caveat. I may be insane, deluded, sad. I’m only a man.

I love thee. Thee who art within me. Thee who art my Woman. Thee who art the formless Goddess that I deludedly seek in outer form. To love thee utterly is my life’s purpose.

Let me be clear, this is only my perception. I lay it on no one and ask nothing of anyone. I respect and admire all people who love. I respect and admire all people who seek, who suffer and learn from their experiences. I respect and admire all people whatever their beliefs. I do not judge, nor proclaim my way, my perception as being right. What I proclaim I do so not to belittle anyone who has differing perceptions. I repeat, all I say may well be the ravings of a deluded mind.

I do not seek to upset anyone of any culture, belief, sexual orientation. I only wish to state my perception which is purely personal and which I would like to share in a spirit of love. I have no desire to coerce, dictate, preach. If I upset you in any way I beg your forgiveness in advance.

I, Man, am sexually obsessed until I learn to love. I, Man, have abused and used Woman down the ages, made her my sexual slave, my servant, my chattel. I, Man, have forgotten my love, Woman, and in so doing have created this loveless existence.

This small little man has seen this and is ashamed. Out of this forgetfulness, I have created death, not the death of renewal, the death that is life, but the delusional idea of death. I have created self and other. I have created complexity. I have created so many things to distract me from my lack of loving Woman. By losing my Love, the Mystery, the transcendent God within me, I have wandered into the wilderness and created the world.

Out of my sexual frustration, I created this world of greed and ignorance, that knows no love that is not full of pain and loss. Out of my lack of love I created thought, time, past and future. I created civilisations with art and irrigation, with class and order.

Out of my sexual frustration, I sought power over others, tribes, nations, nature and there is no limit to my desires for more to fill my emptiness. Nothing is beyond my insatiable appetite. No genocide, no insanity, no unthinkable atrocity is beyond my capabilities. I have created empires and space rockets and will create AI human robots to satisfy my sexual desires.

I have created law and punishment and reason. Yet I am empty. Without thee I am nothing. I have lost thee to my own ignorance. Sex without love. I have created the abominations of this sexual world and they are legion. There are no limits to my depravity, my lack of love.

Why do I declare myself? Because I must. I declare that I will not have sex without love in me. I may fail and do so a hundred times a day, yet it is my overwhelming desire to be free of what I perceive to be the poison of sexuality without love. Once again I reiterate that this is only my perception and I do not promulgate this on anyone. It is merely my personal perception which may be utterly deluded, insane.

Everywhere I see the destruction of love. Everywhere the sexual experimentation and sharing of sexuality without love, the proliferation of sexuality as merely a function of passing pleasure increases and in so doing separates the connection between sex and love further. The normalisation of what I know to be sacred, a holy union for transcendence is so endemic, so much a part of the modern zeitgeist that I am aware of the futility of my desire to share what cannot be shared.

So what am I to do beloved?

By the Grace of the unnameable, the Mystery that is Life that I love, there is nothing to do out there. I can only change things here, in me, which is my constant endeavour.

It doesn’t take Einstein to see we’re on the way out. Every day is another day of crisis and calamity. I, Man, am responsible for this. My lack of love of Woman has brought humanity, the earth, to the brink. The wanderings of Man who forgot is coming to an end. Thank the stars.

Originally published at http://beforetheend740510286.wordpress.com on January 30, 2020.